There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - A Goal Worth Setting

BY: CHRISTIAN HOLMES (@HOLMESYWRITES)

College is the time for an adventure. That's why I'm going to queue in The Adventure!

You know what, I guess we're spouse to grow up at some point, right? Going away to college is the first step of that for me. I'm nervous, but I'm freaking excited too! I'll be living on my own for the first time! Who would've thought I would've been in this position sixteen to seventeen years ago? I was spouse to be a vegetable, who could only communicate by sign language. The ‘professionals’ said I wouldn't be able to perform well in a normal school environment. Guess what's up right now, pros? I'm a walking and talking son of a gun, who's going to college! I graduated high school as an honours student. I can ride a bike. I can converse at a high level. How ‘bout that? What are you going to say now? Probably nothing! Want to know why? ‘Cause you got nothing on this real mofo! As one of my favourite mixed martial artists Nate Diaz would say, “That's what's up, motherfuckers”.

I'm not in this position by chance… I'm here, because I had the heart and determination to overcome my disability. I chose not to let my disability define me. I define my disability! Moebius Syndrome is my bitch! And I wouldn't have it any other way! Barriers are made to be broken and that's what I did and that's what I will continue to do! It wasn't easy. I still have some barriers to break, but honestly, don't we all? The fact that I made it this far, to me, is incredible! To me, it's inspiring. It's what keeps me going. If I beat all these odds, why can't I beat more? Why can't I get a college education? Why can't I get a good job that I enjoy doing? Why can't I start up a family? My past motivates my future, if that makes sense? That's why I'm putting my best foot forward and journeying onto the next step in my life! Bring it on college! Let's make some years to remember, and some friendships that last a lifetime!

Obviously, I have mixed emotions about leaving home. I'm happy but I'm sad. I'm nervous but I'm excited. I want to leave, because I want to become more independent and learn more about myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. But I don't want to leave, because wasn't that what high school was for? Than the realization that high school wasn't really for that completely, kicks in. Honestly, I know for a fact I'll be great on my own. Contrary to my own popular beliefs, I will not become anorexic by Christmas. I'll probably be a little bit skinnier, but that will be because I’ll be taking the 150 for a ride on the incline and doing quedo pumps at the gym. I'll have to come out of my shell, but that's alright. Maybe by doing so, I'll meet that significant other. For sure, I'll learn more about myself. I'm honestly looking forward to it all!

But there's a lot of stuff I'm going to miss about being at home. I'm going to miss having my huge sound system that I can blare music on for hours. I'm going to miss watching the games with the old man. I'm going to miss the trails. I'm going to miss sitting out in my backyard playing my guitar. I'm going to miss my friends. I'm going to miss my mom and my dad. Grandparents. Aunts and uncles. Hell, I'll even miss my neighbours. But, I know I'll get to go back to my home life whenever I choose. I'm just a Go-Train ride away from saying, “Surprise, surprise, motherfuckers! THE KING IS BACK!” Credits to my homeboy, Conor McGregor for that GLORIOUS quote.

I have to embrace change, because change is inevitable! So why fight it? After all, isn't change a good thing? Nobody wants to live with their parents their whole life. Good luck trying to find love from a significant other. She or he, would be like, “Ah hell naw, I ain't putting up with yo parents unless they rich or super famous!”

So I had to take some time to myself and say, “This is going to happen, if you like it or not. You're going to college. Yes, you're leaving home for an extended period of time. Yes, life may suck a bit at first, but suck it up buttercup. ‘Cause once you do, you'll be a happy sun of a bitch in no time!” After saying all that to myself, I thought, “Why not set a few goals for the next couple of years? Something to keep ya going b’y?” So that's why I'm setting a couple public goals to make my venture away from home a meaningful one. And my venture back home for the summer all the more meaningful.

My first goal that I have for my first year at Humber, is to start doing some motivational speaking around the campus. I want to get my story out there. I really have no idea how to go about doing such a thing, but I'm going to put my best foot forward. I always loved public speaking, but I never really got an opportunity to do that much in high school. I was ALMOST the valedictorian, but unfortunately I didn't get that honour (I came heartbreakingly close though). I got to read a prayer instead. YAY. But in Humber, I plan to start speaking, some way, some how. Every legend needs his or her start! And that's how I plan to make mine! Plus, it's a way for me to come out of my shelf, start openly talking about my disability, and seeing what people are interested in about me. That’ll make my venture next summer a little bit easier.

So what is my venture for next summer, you may ask? The way I'm seeing things now, it's time for me to go out into the world and start inspiring people with my story! My plan is to start working on a biography/memoir of my life next summer during my four month holiday/break from school.  Hopefully I can manage to get my book published. Maybe even make a bit of money off it (although, that's not why I would be doing it). I hope that this book that I plan to write can inspire people to reach for the stars, and do big things themselves! Maybe, if I'm super duper lucky, I could get Tom DeLonge to write a soundtrack for it, under his band Angels & Airwaves. You can only dream, right? But even if someone like Tie Domi or even Carey Price read it and gave it a shout out, that'd be dope too. That would make writing the book worthwhile. Plus, in a way, I think a lot of people after reading it could gain a new appreciation for life. So, that's basically my plan for next summer. Obviously, I'm going to start doing some research on all my prognoses now. Maybe slap a few interviews down here and there. I think the first step would be finding a devoted editor that could make sure everything is on point. I want people to read my book and think I'm a sophisticated intellectual. I don't want to be viewed as a 21st century digital boy.  Anyways, the goal is to become a published author by 2019.

So what is the total idea for the book? My biggest wish is for the book to be an honest tell-all story about my life from my birth until now. I want to talk about all the relationships I have formed. I want to talk about how important my family was and still is to me. I want to talk about all the hardships I've been through with my disability. I want to talk about all the ups and downs. Most importantly, I want to talk about how I, with the help of many others, rose above it all, and built myself into the man I am today. I want to discuss topics that I don't usually discuss. I just want to lay it all out on the line. I want to take all the information I have learned so far in college, and apply it to write a masterpiece amongst masterpieces. I want to take all the wisdom I have gathered throughout my life and let it bleed out on every page. I want to talk about the things I love. I want to talk about the things that kept me going. I want to talk about the things that make me, me.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out in me, and that is my will to keep on living and trying to make it big! I always have hope. I never have lost my will to keep on keepin’ on and reaching for the stars. That's why the working title for my book is exactly that - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Besides, that I just want to enjoy my time away from home. It's going to be fun. It's going to be a big time of self discovery. Hopefully that doesn't mean that I'll start favouring dreadful EDM music over my current musical preferences. I hope to meet people that don't think it's boring to listen to rock n’ roll and chat about life. I just hope to meet fuckers that are like me. Which I'm sure I will. And if it's not too much to ask, can I please meet that special someone? (Like having girlfriends in high school is great, but let's be honest, most of those relationships are superficial. There's very few high school relationships that are ‘real’. It's more so puppy love and kinky stuff, if ya know what I mean? ;). Nonetheless, I just want to have the time of my life!

So, to finish this off, I just want to say to everybody that may be sad to see me go, that I'll be back sooner than you know it! I am no longer sad that I'm leaving my home. I have just learned to accept it. I'm planning for my future, and I'm finding positive things to keep myself occupied during my time at Humber! I look forward to my time there! I hope to make plenty of friends, kick some ass, go to the Toronto Maple Leafs opening night hockey party at Maple Leafs square, and maintain a high grade average!

To the youngins that are going off to college, like me, for the first time. I hope you guys have the time of your life! I hope you all kick ass doing whatever you choose to do!

Thank you to all the people that have kept me in good spirits over the years. I hope to repay you guys and gals back by making it big, and living my life to the fullest.

May God bless you all!

Peace, I'm out!